Some new words are unforgettable, needing little or no explanation. They intuitively and metaphorically illuminate the previously undefined. (Who heard of “crowdfunding” and “selfies” 10 years ago?) As we enter a new political season, however, we keep using the same stale, old terms to describe our hyper-partisan, social media political reality, and it’s boooring. Time to freshen things up.
“Flaming Pennies” are the radical one-percent willing to burn the world down just to make a point, and they wield inordinate power in our social media age. They are not necessarily radical because of their beliefs but rather their behavior. Worse than even hateful social media trolls, flaming pennies actually leave their basement. Fortunately, when rational adults ignore the flaming pennies, much like walking away from toddlers throwing a tantrum, they lose their power. Eventually, they will even turn on each other to prove who is more dedicated to the cause. That’s why we don’t have flaming nickels.
People immediately understand the term “Cable News Goggles,” because regardless of how non-partisan, unbiased, and fair-minded we claim to be, we all favor one news source or another. Whether that be the Fox News side or the MSNBC side, we all have our biases. In fact, I now trust naked partisans more than so-called “unbiased” sources. At least we know what the partisans are selling! Our Cable News Goggles certainly impact how we look at the world, even non-political issues, and if you have any doubt if yours are red or blue, just look at what pops up in your newsfeed. The algorithms know us better than we know ourselves.
“Gotham City Shades”, on the other hand, are an entirely different type of eyewear that force us to assume faraway “big city” problems are rampant here at home. We are convinced that the rampant crime, radical behavior, and extreme social problems we see in the media are happening right next door in the same magnitude. (Really?) Yes, bad stuff happens everywhere, but Gotham City Shades create boogey-man central to push agendas. No one wants to live in Gotham City except Batman, and you can’t get one of those belts off the rack at Nordstrom.
“High-Noon Strangers” are those politicians and activists that heroically invade communities to save the day. They appear at school board meetings, city councils, and even lead marches through towns they could only find on Google Maps. Their mission: to save dumb locals from themselves. They usually come from Capital City or are trying to get there, and nowadays, they are often funded by faraway dark money. They always claim a constituency, but look a little closer, and you just might find a large gallery of cardboard cut-outs cheering them on. They ride in, shoot the place up, and leave before the smoke clears. Don’t worry, their supporters are carefully stored for the next town to prevent creasing.
Finally, because this column is “mostly” educational, let’s consider two complementary educational terms: “Pollyanna Public Schools” and “Evil Public Schools”. These are the false, extreme forces dividing common-sense parents and educators nowadays. One side entirely ignores the unnecessary problems pushed into public schools, and the other side ignores the miracles public schools accomplish every day. Meanwhile, both sides clamor for more money to either reward mediocrity or to start their own separate schools. I have been beating this drum for over a year now, but don’t we have more choices than Marxism or Crony Capitalism?
Sure, it’s arrogant to presume I can coin new terms, but I teach college stuff now, so that makes me a true “speck-spert” (a so-called expert who presumes that his knowledge about a tiny subject also makes him smart about real-world issues). Don’t worry, however, I get all of my political insight from actors, entertainers, and social media influencers, so you know I am well-informed. After all, if you cannot capture an idea in a Tik-Tok or a meme, nowadays, you are probably busy doing unimportant stuff like working or raising your family.
Tom Deighan is a public educator and author of Shared Ideals in Public Schools. You may email him at deighantom@gmail.com
