When I heard that Omicron was coming to the United States, I was excited to hear that the next Transformers movie would be released early, but news of the latest giant robot from Cybertron generated more questions than answers. Would Omicron ally with Optimus Prime and the good guys, or would Omicron join the evil Decepticons? Would it hide as a cool car, semi-truck, or maybe even an airplane? Eat your heart out, Marvel Universe. Your puny Iron Man will be trembling in his shiny little boots!
But sadly, Omicron was just another COVID variant, and I blame any confusion on the World Health Organization for picking a name that sounds like a giant robot. Come on, Man! Nevertheless, it did make me think of all the cool Transformers we discovered during the COVID age.
Zoomicron appeared early in the pandemic, and it hides in the form of an unassuming dining room table. As a Transformer, however, Zoomicron is the only robot wearing a business suit with pajama bottoms. Never far away is Pelotonicron, the most useless of Transformers, who can often be seen on Zoomicron’s screen. Pelotonicron hides in plain sight as a very expensive piece of exercise equipment, but as a robot, Pelotonicron spins and spins but never gets anywhere. Together, they are a frightening duo.
Of course, the most mysterious new Transformers are Injecticron and Masquicron. We do not know if they align with the noble Optimus Prime or the evil Megatron, but that certainly depends largely on whichever cable news channels people watch. Injecticron and Masquicron are also relatively tiny for Transformers, so be wary of anything pokey or with elastic ear straps because it might just be a robot. Clearly, post-pandemic Transformers have potential, and if your local theater is closed, they could introduce Streamicron, another pandemic Transformer with obvious branding issues.
As a superintendent, I am sorely disappointed that Omicron is not a hot new Christmas toy, but I am more disappointed at talk that schools should consider closing again. Before we even start a discussion, however, let’s acknowledge that no one knew what to do three years ago, so anyone without COVID sin should cast the first robot. Secondly, we must accept the possibility that Omicron could destroy us all. Nevertheless, we now know that the early studies suggesting that schools should be open were correct. At this point, the issue of in-person schooling should be settled, not only in relations to the disease but also regarding the impact on students’ learning, physical health, and mental health.
We did not hear much about schools like Duncan that managed to offer full-time, in-person learning during the COVID saga, but a recent CDC study, “COVID-19–Related School Closures and Learning Modality Changes — United States, August 1–September 17, 2021”, suggests that upwards of 96% of all school districts in the United States started this school year with full, in-person learning. Unfortunately, schools who stayed open throughout the pandemic have not received much attention lately, but I suspect that the majority of our nation’s parents and educators now want open schools.
Therefore, as Omicron or other fearful robots invade, let’s resist the urge to further transform the lives of students out of fear and speculation. We know a lot more than we once did, and although we may be scared, we should no longer speculate as much. Omicron and the other COVID transformers may doom us all this time around, but so far . . . so far . . . the predictions of humanity’s total annihilation have been mostly wrong. This time around, I hope our nation’s schools can confidently move forward based on what we have learned, rather than what we fear.
Whatever happens, the next Transformers movie is predicted to appear in 2023, and although it may not feature Omicron or the others, I hear that they have recruited Chaka Khan for the soundtrack (Chakacron?). I don’t know about you, but I will pay good money for any movie that includes giant robots dancing to “What Cha’ Gonna Do For me?” That’s a guaranteed recipe for success, even during a pandemic.
Tom Deighan is superintendent of Duncan Public Schools. You may email him at deighantom@gmail.com and read past articles at www.mostlyeducational.com
