Somewhere around the age of 2 or 3, children try to leverage pressure on their parents in public. I call those the Wal-Mart years, when children test us with fits, tantrums, and other tactics whenever they have an audience.  The goal is to get what they want, be it a toy or candy, but the larger goal is determining who’s boss, and it doesn’t just happen among toddlers.  I have a friend who admits to losing it in the cereal aisle when her child threw a tantrum during one hectic trip to the store.  She raised her voice, grabbed her child by the arm, and corrected him sternly right there in the store.  She never hurt her child, but it was enough of a scene that a concerned bystander scolded the mom and told her just to give the kid the cereal he wanted. Before the mom could respond to the stranger, her kid popped off, “Mind your own business, lady, or my mom will kick your butt!”  

The lady in this story is a great Mom, but everyone loses it in Wal-Mart eventually.  It does not make someone a bad parent, and kids rarely lose love for parents who correct them.  This is even true when the relationship is not perfect.    Even more remarkable, when the parent is derelict or abusive, however, children will still often defend them with a loyalty that defies logic.  That’s the power of the parent-child bond, and educators know that anyone who dares get between a child and a parent does so at extreme peril.  And when I say parents, I am referring to the caring adults in children’s lives who nurture their education. That role is often filled by someone who is not the biological father or mother.  Every child who has such an adult parenting their education is generally ready for school.    

Educators whom I respect hold the parent-child relationship as sacrosanct, for we know that it is an unbreakable bond. Parents are the preeminent influence in children’s lives.  Teachers know that their jobs are infinitely easier when the parent supports their child’s education, even in the smallest measures.  An educator can never replace the parent as the most important influencer or educator. We can often only enhance and support.  If a parent resists or devalues education or holds hostile feelings toward the teacher, educators struggle, often in vain, to overcome that child’s resistance to learning. On the other hand, when a parent participates or even tacitly supports in the simplest of ways like checking on their children’s grades online, that child enters the classroom with a tremendous advantage.  

Educators assist the parents, but we can never usurp, override, undermine, or replace the roles or responsibilities of a parent.  Contrary to the extreme examples we may see in the news, virtually all educators know that the power of a parent is unparalleled.  It is first biological, which is almost impossible to overcome, and then it is based on simple time and relationship. Think about it, children spend about 15% of their time each year in school, and they get new teachers every year.  The remainder is under parent or guardian supervision, year after year. (There are 8760 hours in a year, and children only spend 1260 hours in school, which is about 15% of their lives: 7 hours each day X 180 days = 1260 hours.) 

Educators assist parents, and I know educators who can help children overcome overwhelming obstacles, even those children who are unsupported in their education, but no educator can completely replace a caring, attentive, and invested adult in the home.  That’s why parents will always be the most important educators, and nearly all educators honor this parental role in a child’s life, especially during the challenging years!  Wal-Mart parents unafraid to correct their children in public are our heroes, for they are making our jobs much easier. Thank you for being the most important educators.

Tom Deighan is currently the superintendent of Duncan Public Schools. You may email him at  deighantom@gmail.com and read past articles at www.mostlyeducational.com

This is the ninth in a series of ten summertime articles mapping the common ground upon which parents, educators, and communities can unite regarding one of the most divisive topics in America: public education.

A friend of mine recently used his drone to record me kiteboarding. From 400 feet up, my local lake looked like a tropical paradise, and I looked like an expert kiteboarder, but closer inspection would have revealed a 50-year-old risking a broken hip in muddy water!  Clearly, remote-control can look impressive, but it’s not always accurate or evidence of sound judgement. 

Historically, we have accepted that local school boards, parents, and educators have a clearer view of their students’ needs than any far-away politician, bureaucrat, or teacher-union bosses. In recent decades, however, remote-control planning has become the norm for both political parties, starting with No Child Left Behind, surging with Common Core State Standards, and continuing with the Every Student Succeeds Act. All three initiatives received widespread bi-partisan support at inception and cancellation. (ESSA will eventually be cancelled, too.) Remote-control policy, however, reached its apex during our recent pandemic, and I would hope that we learned that educational central planning in a state as diverse as Oklahoma simply does not work. Once again, I think most parents and educators agree on the issue of local control in their district.

Last year is a good example of remote-controlled chaos. Schools were stuck between certain entities that seemed to incentivize school closures and other entities that seemingly demanded schools ignore those with authority to close schools. Well-intentioned leaders increasingly feel compelled to remote control schools, so local control is largely ignored until central planning fails, and districts are told to figure things out on their own. Constantly running this gauntlet leaves local communities frustrated and confused. We need this chaos to end. 

Little attention was given to districts like Duncan who stayed open last year and even less attention to the fact that most Oklahoma school districts stayed open during the pandemic. Despite remote-controlled, central planning, most Oklahoma school districts successfully ran the gauntlet to serve their kids and parents. We did it on the local level, despite far-away warring factions. Schools did this as communities of parents and educators making tough decisions, not by remote-control.

I hope and pray that everyone looks at the data we now have after a year. Of course, we knew a year ago that COVID spread in schools is negligible, and those studies from other countries encouraged many districts to stay open. In our district, only about 1% of 1,500 quarantined students developed COVID while in quarantine, so it seems the quarantines overreached. Other districts who stayed open reported similar results. We may have had reason to fear last year, but this year, the evidence is clear: schools should be open, masked or not. And may we please stop quarantining healthy children.

Unfortunately, the gauntlet is already forming for the upcoming year, and I hope schools will not be stuck. A slew of new legislation seemingly targeted schools that closed last year, ignoring the schools who successfully served kids in-person. Other legislation micromanaging COVID mitigation may place schools at odds with health departments if last year’s COVID rules are implemented. I cannot see any practical way for schools to stay open with any consistency if that happens.  We may have unwittingly tied school districts’ hands so much that those fighting to keep schools closed with unrealistic demands may inadvertently win, doing further irreparable harm to a generation of students. Extremists on both sides win if schools close again this year, for both can loudly proclaim, I told you so!    

I sincerely believe that the issue of in-person schooling is settled for most educators and parents. Remote controllers win if they can keep us divided, confused, and inconsistent. We must remember that critical issues look very different close-up, in your neighborhoods, which is why local parents, educators, and school boards can be trusted to protect the safety and health of their own children. We cannot always trust remote-control views of education or old men kiteboarding, but we can trust local control.

Tom Deighan is the current Superintendent of Duncan Public Schools. He may be reached at deighantom@gmail.com

When state or federal entities create impossible situations due to unfunded mandates, unpredictability, or conflicting laws, public schools have always managed to figure things out. Inevitably, the central-planned solutions become politically impossible messes that school boards, parents, and educators are expected to unravel. As we have seen since this pandemic started, local control is a very convenient scapegoat when one-size-fits-all solutions hurt more than they help, but we may have finally tied ourselves up in a knot that local schools cannot untangle.

Beginning with the state-wide closures in the spring of 2019 and continuing through the 2020-21 school year, school districts were expected to either carry heavier and heavier loads managing COVID or just give up and close. We figured them out, however, navigating state and federal contradictions at the local level. Districts like Duncan swam upstream to keep schools open despite quarantining 2,500 students and staff. We made tough decisions locally to keep our schools open, despite our hands being tied. 

Last year, schools like Duncan assisted in duly authorized quarantining, contact tracing, isolation orders, and close contact notifications based on very explicit communications that schools must follow these orders.  We were either directly notified or confirmed regarding every COVID case in our schools. Then, under the direction of duly authorized experts, we provided information to assist in their final determinations.  Public school staff did most of the legwork and delivered most of the orders, but we never acted unilaterally, for we do not have the expertise or authority to do any of those things. We truly appreciated the partnership with local health authorities as we worked together to keep schools open safely. It was exhausting, but at the end of the year, we felt like we fought the good fight together.

But this year, schools are being “expected” to issue quarantining, contact tracing, and isolation orders unilaterally, based solely on personal, self-reported, and unverifiable health information. We are no longer officially notified of confirmed COVID-positive people in our buildings. Authorities no longer identify specific individuals or groups for quarantine, contact tracing, or isolation. They no longer prescribe the terms or duration of those quarantines. This year, schools have been told that we are on our own. Schools are now expected to do those things that have traditionally been beyond our authority, and we understand that we may lose funding if we do not. So, which laws do we break? 

If schools follow current recommendations, we will be violating SB658, but this is not about masks anymore. We are expected to quarantine, which requires our knowing a person’s vaccination status, but SB658 apparently forbids our requiring documentation that an individual has been vaccinated against COVID-19. Expecting schools to act as public health experts during a pandemic seems to contradict existing laws and virtually everything we have been told since this pandemic started. In the past, schools have always wriggled free enough to find a solution when asked to, but for me the answer is finally “No.”  

No, my schools should not be compelled to violate any provisions of SB658, for it is the law. And, no, educators should not be asked to act as public or private healthcare authorities during a pandemic. These are impossible choices that schools should not be forced to make. Schools can legally send sick people home and close to protect our staff and students, but educators cannot manage a pandemic. If things have changed, we need clarity and certainty before moving forward.  

No one knew if COVID would return the way it has, and no one wanted it, but we all knew that SB658 would create impossible choices if COVID did surge again. That impossible choice was not created by parents, educators, or children, but once again, they are expected to unravel this impossible problem. This time, I respectfully say, no. Schools cannot carry this burden. 

Tom Deighan is currently the superintendent of Duncan Public Schools. He may be reached at deighantom@gmail.com  You may read past articles at www.mostlyeducational.com